Marcus turned 29 on October 22nd. He didn't realize it was his birthday, but we made sure to remind him throughout the day. I oftentimes will write down thoughts that I wish Marcus could understand. Instead of telling him, I write him letters. I imagine Marcus reading these letters when his mind is healed. This may not be in our lifetime. He may read them in Heaven. Either way, I want him to know how loved he is.
October 22, 2016
Dear Brother,
Today we celebrated your birthday. You turned 29
years old. You woke up this morning not knowing it was your birthday. I was
excited to tell you. When I asked you what day it was, you said “October 21st
because that is what my watch says”. I reminded you that your watch was one day
behind and that it was, in fact, October 22nd, which meant it was
your birthday. When you hear “October 22nd”, your immediate response
is “October 22nd, 1987”. Actually, it was October 22nd,
2016, which meant you were 29 years old.
At 29 years old, you are struggling. You have Dementia. You’ve
had it for quite some time now. It’s getting harder and harder for you to
remember things. You are always confused on what day or time it is. You wake up
and want your morning coffee. I got you a coffee cup with our picture on it for
your birthday because I know how much you love your morning coffee. After you
drink your morning coffee, you usually want to read your Sports Illustrated
magazine. Mom has to help you shower first, though. We can’t be having a
stinky, 29-year-old. You usually adhere to this, but not without some bribing
that you need to change your clothes after you shower. We can’t stay in our
Pajama’s all day, brother.
At 29 years old, you have major anger outbursts. You get
very confused on things and oftentimes, it translates to anger. You yell,
swear, call us mean names and cry. Sometimes you cry really hard, and mom or
dad has to hug you so you calm down. After it’s all over, though, you forget
about it. Sometimes you are sorry, although you don’t know why. It’s hard to
watch you when you have these moments. It’s very hard.
At 29 years old, I know how much you love me, your sister.
You love to talk to me on the phone. You love to Face-time with me; although, I
mostly think you like to see your face on the phone as opposed to mine. You
always want to go places with me, in the “Mazda”. You like to sit next to me.
Like RIGHT next to me. Sometimes you’ll want to hold my hand and be my
boyfriend. I have to remind you that I’m your sister and that you’d rather have
it that way. If you were my boyfriend, I could get rid of you. If I’m your
sister, I can’t get rid of you. I’m stuck with you forever.
I wish you didn’t have dementia, but you do. Life is hard
for you but we try to make it as easy as possible. You get to hang out with
Grandma Marion a lot. She loves you and loves taking care of you. She spoils
you, actually. She makes you really good meals and lets you read out loud. You LOVE to read out loud.
There’s much more I want to tell you, Brother, but it’s hard
for you to understand so I try to keep it simple. You are loved by many. You
are safe with your family. You can trust that your family is doing everything
we can to take care of you. Your story is being written by God. You are, and
always will be, my favorite little bubba. Happy 29th Birthday.
Love, Sister.
Marcus goes in for an MRI on Nov. 16th at the University of Washington. This MRI is looking specifically for Dementia-related progress. In Marcus' case, we should be able to see how much he has digressed or how much his brain has changed from original tests that were performed. He will also be going in for Genetic testing at the beginning of the year. I will be sure to update everyone when these results are found!
